View the Caymanian Compass printed spread here.

In a hard-fought contest, the Camana Bay Christmas shopping competition earlier this month set out to settle an age-old argument: Women are much better shoppers than men, who generally don’t like it and tend to need help in more areas than one. What better way to find out than to see who would get their Christmas shopping done in the most efficient manner? With the help of Camana Bay retailers, the contestants - journalists Vicky Wheaton and Michael Klein - had less than one hour to complete their entire Christmas shopping.

The task was to find eight gifts for less than $50 each that would make suitable presents for a partner or spouse, a pet, an elderly relative, a best friend, a teenager, a child under 10, a sibling and a work colleague.

The Camana Bay Christmas shopping contest sees me pitted against Vicky Wheaton, a woman, in a Battle of the Sexes. The task: to buy within one hour eight Christmas presents for less than $50 each. The presents will have to be suitable for eight completely different people, from a child of less than ten years to an elderly relative.

All this seems tricky but doable, I am thinking. However, the organisers, in their wisdom, have succumbed to gender stereotypes and assigned to me, as the supposedly “weaker shopping sex”, the assistance of a concierge.

I am not sure that I appreciate the underlying implication that women like shopping and therefore must be good at it, while men need help. I think most men are quite adept at shopping, thank you very much, but rather won’t communicate that fact too loudly. In fact, men are strangely attracted to things that we are not any good at, like golf or football for example. I presume the same applies to women with a shopping affliction.

Be that as it may, because I am a man I am offered the help of Angela Walsh, a woman, the guest concierge at Camana Bay’s recently opened Discovery Centre. The Discovery Centre functions as an information library for all things Camana Bay. It explains the inspiration behind the town’s vision, features maps and event calendars on touch-screen displays and showcases Camana Bay’s residential offering.

Today, Angela is going to be my personal shopper and meeting her for the first time, I realise very quickly she is more like a personal shopping general. Unfolding her battle plan that lists dozens of presents for less than $50 for each individual shop, I have a sneaky feeling that we are entering the grey area where gamesmanship turns into cheating. But hey, I am a man, so let’s not worry about that for too long. My opposite number Vicky, meanwhile, looks a little flustered and forlorn as she is trying to get her bearings.

The clock starts and Angela suggests starting off at Bedside Manor. Good, I think, I know that one, because my wife loves to go there. Although I am a little hazy about what they are actually selling, because I typically observe her shopping antics with a hundred-mile stare.

Fortunately, Angela knows, and she immediately shows me gift ideas for pets, a mug sporting a faux diamond ring and several other ideas. I reject the diamond ring mug for fear it might send the wrong message and decide to tick the pet gifts off my list first. Union Jack dog lead, a “peace”-themed dog collar and a ball should do the trick.

Four minutes down and we move on to The Cabana, a Lilly Pulitzer shop. If I had to describe the boutique in one word, ‘colourful’ would be the one or ‘pink’ to be more precise. Among the signature dresses, stylish flip flops and jewellery, Angela leads me to a stand with umbrellas, diaries and other ideas for children under ten.

I settle for a bright laptop bag that is waterproof and which could easily function as a school bag. Owner Leslie Bergstrom decorates it beautifully and apparently always throws some sweets into the bag, too. Nice.

Not wasting much time, we are heading across the The Paseo to Black Trumpet Delicatessen, where, Angela suggests, we could put together a gift basket for an elderly relative. This sounds suspiciously like an idea I could have had. We are 14 minutes in and I have selected a bottle of wine, breakfast tea, spicy chutney and jam for a hamper that the helpful Black Trumpet staff will put together and decorate for the small extra fee of $10.

Now we are three presents down and have plenty of time left. Right next door at Sand Angels we find all the swim and beachwear that kids, juniors and women could ask for. Could there be a more useful gift in Cayman than something for the beach? Angela shows me a beach towel and beach bag, but I am asserting myself and go for a pink sarong for my wife. Looking for another present for a teenager, some Rip Curl board shorts catch my eye and go into the bag as well.

We are still under 20 minutes and have to find only three more presents. This is shaping up nicely. Angela, now on a mission, heads straight for Books & Books and in the process takes the opportunity to lecture me for my foolish mention of gift vouchers. There are now so many different shops and potential gift ideas at Camana Bay, ashe says, we really don’t need to get any gift vouchers, even though they are of course available everywhere.

We ignore the coffee, cake and sandwiches at Cafe del Sol for the moment and walk straight through their premises into the shop, which carries, besides the obvious books, many other interesting items that would make perfect presents: calendars, diaries, filofaxes and more.

We are still looking for a secret Santa gift for a work colleague, something for a sibling and a present for a best friend.

The Secret Santa turns out to be easy and comes in the form of an Andy Warhol calendar, Jane Austen’s Little Instruction Book and a One-Minute Wine Expert book and wine charms.

My imaginary sibling, I fancy, for lack of a real one, would be a jollier, healthier and altogether more handsome version of my glorious self.

Someone like Keith Richards, who apparently has fired up all of his remaining synapses to write his memoirs. These are not titled What I Can Remember or Alive, but rather more mundanely, Life. Still, they should be a perfect Christmas holiday read for any aspiring athlete, couch potato and rock star.

Just as I am struggling to find something different for a best friend, Angela comes to the rescue again and shows me a curious looking box of 216 two-poled magnets that can be moulded into any kind of shape in a relaxing fashion. The aptly dubbed Buckyballs are most certainly a different and intriguing desk toy, I think, as I am moulding away. Just in time I remind myself that the clock is ticking. So in the bag they go and Angela and I dart to the finishing line, which we reach, five bags in hand, after exactly 22 minutes. Someone call the Guinness book people, please.

As I am gazing through the windows of the Discovery Centre, sipping on a glass of wine, I spot Vickie maniacly gesticulating and shouting at the poor cinema staff, demanding a voucher.

A voucher, can you imagine? Still, respect to her, because she arrives only a few minutes later, having completed her shopping all by herself. Would I have finished first on my own? We will never know, but my conclusion is that Christmas shopping at Camana Bay is way easier than I thought it would be, and that everyone should have someone like Angela to do their shopping with them.