Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?
Do you often put off turning in papers or projects, waiting to get them just right?
Do you feel you must give more than 100 per cent on everything you do or else you will be mediocre or even a failure?
If so, rather than simply working toward success, you may in fact be trying to be perfect. Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviours aimed at reaching excessively high and unrealistic goals, and is often mistakenly seen as desirable or even necessary for success. However, recent studies have shown that perfectionistic attitudes actually interfere with success.
Negative consequences of perfectionism include:
Low self-esteem. Because a perfectionist never feels good enough about personal performance, feelings of being a failure or a loser with a lessening of self-confidence and self-esteem may result.
Guilt. Because a perfectionist never feels good about the way responsibility has been handled in life (by himself or others) a sense of shame, self recrimination, and guilt may result.
Pessimism. Since a perfectionist is convinced that it will be extremely difficult to achieve an ideal goal, he can easily become discouraged, fatalistic, disheartened, and pessimistic about future efforts to reach a goal.
Rigidity. Needing to have everything in one’s life perfect or just so can lead a perfectionist to an extreme case of being inflexible, non-spontaneous, and rigid.
Obsessiveness. Being in need of an excessive amount of order, pattern, or structure in life can lead a perfectionistic person to become nit-picky, finicky, or obsessive in an effort to maintain a certain order.
Lack of motivation. Believing that the goal of change will never be able to be ideally or perfectly achieved can often give a perfectionist a lack of motivation to attempt change in the first place, or to persevere if change has already begun.
Immobilisation. Because a perfectionist is often burdened with an extreme fear of failure, the person can become immobilised. With no energy, effort or creative juices applied to rectify, improve, or change the problem behaviour in the person’s life, he becomes stagnant.
What To Do About Perfectionism
The first step in changing from perfectionistic attitudes to healthy striving is to realise that perfectionism is undesirable. Perfection is an illusion that is unattainable. The next step is to challenge the self-defeating thoughts and behaviours that fuel perfectionism. Some of the following strategies may help:
Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a goal, set your next goal one level beyond your present level of accomplishment.
Experiment with your standards for success. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 per cent, try for less. This will help you to realise that the world does not end when you are not perfect.
Focus on the process of doing an activity not just on the end result.
Recognise that many positive things can only be learned by making mistakes. When you make a mistake ask, “What can I learn from this experience?” More specifically, think of a recent mistake you have made and list all the things you can learn from it.
Avoid all-or-nothing thinking in relation to your goals. Learn to discriminate the tasks you want to give high priority to from those tasks that are less important to you. On less important tasks, choose to put forth less effort.
Once you have tried these suggestions, you are likely to realise that perfectionism is not a helpful or necessary influence in your life. There are alternative ways to think that are more beneficial. Not only are you likely to achieve more without your perfectionism, but you will feel better about yourself in the process.